Posted by martharita on --.--
Category :スポンサー広告

calm and peace in hectic life

Boss is taking sick leave for this morning and therefore I am left alone with the corner area. The office is as quiet as usual. I switch on the speaker to play some music and surprisingly, the atmosphere seems so calm for now.

I really enjoy this kind of quietness. It helps myself to reclaim inner peace and more concentrate on work. Best of all, it also allows me to have some time to think about myself.

I am so tired lately, both for work and personal life. Though there is not a busy or hectic schedule lied behind me, it is just I seem to have lost my mind. I feel so weak and got sick since I have started new job. I thought it might be due to the 5.5 working days that I do not have enough time for rest, i found that it might be something else.

Life is not running smooth lately and fortunately they are not really big major crisis changes (if not I will die! ). I still have no clue of handling ALL these things, they are all out of my control. It is not what I want, not what I want them supposed to be. " Is it possible to have what I want!!? My wishes are not harmful at all and they are really tidieous indeed..." I ask Him. "Are you not happy with what you have NOW? Are you SURE you want to LOSE something you have now to EXCHANGE for something that you are UNCERTAIN whether you are really happy to have them or not?" Gosh..."I can't really tell...".

"Can I just have a half-year holiday, because I really want to have some time being alone, to get rid of something for awhile?" I ask again, this time she told me it is a stupid question. We all have limitations since no one is flawless, there is no perfection in human beings. That's probably one of the precious gifts God give us.

I know i am stupid and arrogant, and greedy and selfish and therefore I always repeatedly making stupid mistakes. Thanks God always gives me second and third and more times to correct my mistakes and make improvements. Now, here comes the big lesson again. To learn what is love, for myself, even though with limitations, still to love others.

urgh, ...Hard, but I gotta learn this quick.

Thank you.
Posted by martharita on 06.2006   0 comments   0 trackback
Category :無所事事

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